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I have returned to base. Travel in route was a little heavy on the Garden State Parkway, but once I got to the New Jersey Turnpike the speeds were, let us just say, excellent.
As expected, I grew stronger each day. Today I got enough coffee in the PM to really help. I am discovering that just sitting I start to feel almost normal. When I get up, I am immediately reminded of my problem with my feet. Physical exertion again reminds me my aerobic capacity has a ways to go in its recovery.
When you’re driving for a while, I did about two and a half-hours with a half hour stop for food, tonight to get home, you get some time to think. I’m going to have to get me one of them MP3 recorders so I can record my brilliant thoughts and then blog about them later.
Anyway, I was thinking as I was driving. Of course, with an ADD brain like mine, it’s hard to maintain a train of thought. I usually use a mantra to keep my mind focused, “Pass the next car; pass the next car.”
But as I was saying, I was thinking about some of the reactions I’ve gotten from people during my current physical challenges. Many say they are amazed at my attitude. I think they mean it as a compliment, but is it really? Did they expect me to curl up like a leaf that fall that falls from a tree and blow away? I would hope they knew me well enough to know I am, or at least I like to think I am, made of sterner stuff.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy and appreciate cheers and words of encouragement from spectators at the sidelines. But I would like those words to convey the thought that, although my challenge is a serious one and will require much on my part, it is one they are confident I will win.
I am not much of a sports fan, but when people watch a great athlete, although they are amazed at his accomplishments, they are also unsurprised. They know he is a great athlete and his accomplishments solidify his greatness in their minds. Although they marvel at his feats, they also know he can do them.
For my part I am doing all I can to win. The other day someone emailed me to fight for all I’m worth. I responded that I’m fighting for more than I’m worth. As the US sold war bonds during WWII to fight the war, I’m taking out loans, of sorts, to fight my war.
The short-winded summation is I appreciate any and all accolades and words of encouragement. My only request is that they express acknowledgement of the task and confidence I will complete my mission.
By the way, thank you for all the support you’ve given me to date. My comments are not meant to be unappreciative. It is all greatly appreciated.
Posted by The Vorlon at February 9, 2006 10:31 PMIt's not just people being amazed at your attitude. It's something else. When I visited my neurologist on Monday for a nerve test in my legs, he asked how you were doing.
Then he asked, "He isn't still working, is he?"
When I responded 'yes', he was amazed. Dr. Decastro said most people found they were unable to work while going through chemo.
Posted by: Reb Orrell at February 10, 2006 3:51 PMI dunno. Although It knocks me down a bit, I don't see it as all that tough. Of course my work is not very physically strenuous.
Posted by: Ted at February 10, 2006 8:10 PMI think all the messages you receive come from the hearts of those who love & care for you. There are situations when people don't know exactly the right words, but, they are expressing their thoughts to you in the most caring way they can. Just the fact they respond to your site, means they care how you're doing. Your messages are strong & positive and you've certainly proven yourself to be a fighter, so we are your allies. Our role is to support your battle and know that you will win. Have a great day Ted.
Posted by: Ruth Berlien at February 12, 2006 9:38 AMRuth,
Thank you.