May 14, 2006

May 14 Update

I’m still feeling very tired tonight. I am disappointed that I’m not bouncing back more quickly.

I’m still fighting with my taste buds. Suddenly most fruits don’t taste very good. I used to love fruit. Although I am hungry at mealtime, I have a hard time figuring out what I want to eat. I try to sample things in small portions to see how it goes down. But, I have no nausea.

I seem to be on the verge of tears all the time. All I need is a kind word from someone, or see a story about a rescued dog on TV and even hear some hymns and it takes all my self-control not to turn into a sobbing mess. This morning in church, someone made a comment to me and all I could do was nod and turn away. If I had tried to speak, I would have cried.

I remember reading in the book, “Patient From Hell” the author indicated he went through the same state.

I’m wondering if I’m suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

I’m afraid the Vorlon Wife is picking up the slack I’m leaving around the house. She cut the grass yesterday while I just sat on the sofa. I’m becoming a nuisance to have around.

Lucky for me she has yet to complain. I thank God daily that she is in my life.

Posted by The Vorlon at May 14, 2006 8:13 PM
Comments

The Vorlon Wife is special. You are lucky to have her around. I view Nora the same way. She is my partner in everything.

Posted by: Reb Orrell at May 15, 2006 7:58 AM

My heart is very heavy for you today. However, your dear wife wants nothing more than to help you through this. As my huband reminds me often, wouldn't you do this for me if the situation were reversed? And, of course I certainly would. There will never be a moment, EVER, that you will become a nuisance to have around. She treasures her time with you, as you do with her. Love is never-ending when you care for your spouse, as you and Karol do. She will always be with you and be strong with you because that's what love is, being there for each other through sickness and in health. And, I know that you know all of this, but it's very difficult when you're feeling so down, as you are now, and understandably so.

I know that your love of your God and prayer have carried you many times through your journey. But, I'm wondering if maybe you need to talk with someone about helping you through this more difficult period? As you mentioned, perhaps it's akin to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and I would think most people need some help to deal with such a thing. Just a thought that I had to try and help you in some way.

We will all continue our powerful prayers for your peace. To me, that is all that is important, for you to know how much all of us love and care for you, and that you feel peace and love as it surrounds you from everywhere.

May God Bless You this day. In friendship and caring, Ruth Berlien

Posted by: Ruth Berlien at May 17, 2006 9:02 AM