Vorlon Whispers

May 21 Update

Today was a better day. I actually did a little work outside today. Although I was huffing and puffing as I move around, it felt good to do something physical. I find really miss hard physical work.

On of my favorite shows on TV is “Deadliest Catch” on the Discovery Channel. I can watch reruns with almost as much enjoyment as new episodes.

For those that don’t have cable TV, Deadliest Catch is documentary crab fishing on the Bearing Sea in the wintertime. It is hard grueling dangerous work. Crab Pot, they look more like rectangular baskets, have to be off loaded and then retrieved from the deck of a boat this is doing everything but standing still in bitter cold weather.

But the guys, who do it, really love it. I think I can understand why. It is something the few people do, it is brutal hard work, and very dangerous. But while you’re doing it, you feel really alive. I suspect combat troops go through a similar sensation.

I can’t do that. But what little work I can do, I enjoy. Perhaps it’s my being raised on a farm in which there was a lot of physical work. There is a magic moment, when one is going something physical and has some skill that you start to feel like a well-oiled machine. I think athletes call that being in the zone. But it’s a marvelous feeling.

Let’s just say I haven’t been in the zone for a very long time. I guess you would say I’m zoned out these days.

However, tonight I’m feeling a bit tired. Actually a bit more than a bit. My temperature was better today, it was normal this morning. Tonight it’s 99.1 – not bad.

I still need to force myself to eat. I get hungry, but I have a difficult time finding tasty things to eat. I really need to put some calories on. I drive Boost, but it is so unsatisfying.

Tomorrow afternoon I get my next chemo treatment. It’ll be a reduced hit from the one ten days ago.

I’m off to bed.

Posted by The Vorlon at May 21, 2006 8:59 PM