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I thought I’d get an early start tonight. Danny was up at 5:00am and wanted out. He did his business rather quickly so he really had to go. When we got back, we went back to bed. We got up around 7:30 and I had my coffee. I called about the job. I felt I wasn’t up to it. I can barely function. I felt down most of the day. The spring pollen makes me feel like I have bull frog eyes.
I went to work on Eastern Business quarterly reports. I was stuck on a problem but was able to call someone to help me. It was confusing at first but I managed to get it done. I think!
Doing the quarterly reports is quite nerve racking. I still have to do a little more and I’ll do that tomorrow.
I talked to my sister-in-law. She called to let me know that I forgot my bowl. She also said there was a house for sale near her. It would cost about the same as I could sell my house for but it’s a smaller house, smaller lot, no garage, and higher taxes. The house just went on the market but I’m not ready to make any moves.
I talked to Phyllis today. She told me about Craigslist.com. It looks like a good site to sell some of my things. I glanced at it and I’ll have to check it out a little more.
I’ll take Danny out for his night time walk and then turn in early.
News from the Vorlon Wife
Karol - last night I posted four sets of truck Light Bars that Len had from being a first responder. I already have someone coming today to look at them. Funny thing - I know the person as he works at our Occupational Health group that does our workers compensation treatment. Another person also responded. So, good luck to you with it. I see lots of cars for sale on it.
Posted by: Phyllis E at April 10, 2007 10:33 AMDear Karol,
I'm so sorry you hurt so bad Karol. Although, it isn't at all surprising because your pain is still very near the surface. There is no way around it, we must go through it. However, as you well know, we never walk alone during these awful times. Our Loving God walks with us and your firends and family are always wishing you better days. I'm sure it all sounds so trite when you read this type of thing, but, it is true Karol. When you love someone as you loved your Ted, it is going to really really hurt for some time. You can't just shut those feelings off, you will be healed slowly. Ted would be experiencing the same miserable days if the picture was the opposite of what happened.
You are still accomplishing so much even with your faltering days of overwhelming grief. Time will heal you some. There will always be a scar remaining to show your battle wounds of love. Be proud to carry that scar in honor of your very well-loved husband.
As you well know, you are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day (today, it will be every hour), because I know you're facing very rough times now.
All the so-called experts that deal with grief, suggest waiting awhile to make big decisions such as going to work, or selling your home. I think part of your decisions to not accept a position you don't feel emotionally prepared for now, or keeping your home that you're not dissatisfied with, are all part of God's plan for you Karol. You and the Lord are doing very well together. And, He will continue to hold your hand as you walk the valleys. The incline to the other side is very gradual and one of these days, your view from the valley will change ever so slightly because perhaps you have taken one small step up the hill.
I offer my love and caring for you dear lady. Ruth
Posted by: Ruth at April 10, 2007 12:14 PMThanks to both Ruth and Phyllis. You are both so encouraging during my time of grief.
Posted by: Ted at April 10, 2007 7:09 PM