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I cleaned the fish tank today. I didn't get much else done. I woke up with a headache and vegetated for a while. I went to Wal-Mart and got a VCR/DVD combination. My VCR went caput and my DVD isn't working properly. I thought it was the rentals I was getting from the Video store but my brother lent me a couple of his movies and I still had the same problem with fading in and of blue screen. I decided to get the combo. Wal-Mart had a good price. At least I thought so until I got home and found there was no place to plug in the antenna. It was a player only and not a recorder. I packed it back up and will return it tomorrow. What a bummer. It never dawned on me that player only units were available. Anyway, I had a bummer of a day. I felt sad and thought of Ted all day and how much I miss him.
I feel like I am burned out from my job. I ran the financials for Oct. and some things are screwed up. I believe it is the journal entries that I did. I followed what the person before me had done and I have no clue what she was doing and I don't think she had a clue either. It just seems like on crisis after another. Sonia will be back on Monday and the new lady, Rita is working out well. She was a big help to me on Friday. Maybe things will smooth out. I hope I can fix October. I had to do it blind. No one to show me how to do it. I feel burned out and all alone.
Right now, I'll join my Danny Boy for a long winter's nap.
News from the Vorlon Wife.
Dear Karol,
Everywhere you look, there are signs that read "Tis the Season to be Jolly". This is so not true for many many people. It is often a season of being reminded in a huge way of one's extreme losses. As many things during this time of year reminding you of your great great loss of your most beloved friend and husband. The season exacerbates the feeling of being alone because nearly every picture you see on TV or magazines or any publication shows groups of people laughing and having great joy. It just isn't a true picture of what many people suffer during the season. And, I think your job is causing you to have waaaayyyy too many challenges to meet everyday. I personally can't imagine a place of business not being better prepared to have someone new join the company without facing the demons you must face each morning. It makes one dread to go to work. I wonder if that particular job is the right place for you to be Karol? I'm not diminishing the importance of you working and receiving benefits, but, come now, for the management of the comopany not to be able to better prepare you for the job you are assigned to do is totally ridiculous.
I'm feeling a bit angry that your life must be so difficult for you regarding your job. You had to face the combat zone of so many new ventures this year after suffering a huge loss. You didn't really have enough time to grieve for your husband. You were immediately faced with large challenges that seemed to be things you had to take care of. I am feeling very sad for you Karol.
I lack the words to express my feelings for you. I can simply say - that I am your devoted friend and I wish nothing more for you than to have a peaceful and most blessed New Year. Speak specifically to the Lord about your feelings. Share with Him your heartaches and the feelings of overload that have been heaped on you. He truly listens and will help you to attain a sort of peace I believe. The words probably seem trite to some degree because you may feel you have been abandoned several times over. I readily admit your challenges have been, and continue to be so gigantic. More than many humans can bear, so that is why I so strongly suggest that you speak so specifically to the Lord and ask for help in your journey. I know you are a Christian woman and your faith is surely being challenged. And, I feel so sad about that.
Forgive me for going on and on, but, I just wish so much that I could help you through this maze. I will do all I can in continuing to remember you always in my prayers and feel thankful that I have the gift of being able to become your friend.
I wish you happiness, peace and a treasure trove of good wishes for the New Year. Love, Ruth
Posted by: Ruth at December 30, 2007 2:09 PM