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I saw our GP this morning. I wanted to get my flu shot and I needed to see him for a referral to visit the lung doctor. My oncologist wants me to see lung guy to drain my plural effusion. His bedside manner leaves a little to be desired, but he seems skilled and seems to know what he’s doing.
I told him about my peripheral neuropathy and he suggested trying Co-enzyme Q.
I asked him if there was something I could take that would stimulate my appetite. He wrote me a prescription for Paxil CR. It’s an antidepressant and he said one of the complaints of people that take it is that they gain weight. He said to check with my oncologist first, which I will do. I don't need the antidepressant effects, but the weight gain would be good.
Friday I go for my next chemo treatment.
In the afternoon, I get tired and suffer from all over body ache. Now I’m taking my ibuprofen and then off to bed.
We took the Vorlon Dog to the office again. He seemed much calmer that yesterday. He will not be so happy on Friday. On Friday, he goes for the operation to change his sex life and he also gets his Rabies shot.
It’s hard to find treats that he likes. So far, I found that he likes cheese and grapes.
He also has little interest in toys. But have found one toy he seems to enjoy – his bed. Two or three weeks ago, we bought bed for him. It turns out it’s a smidgeon to small for him and he has yet to sleep in it. But he DOES like to play with it. He throws it around, flips it over with his nose. If you grab it while he has it in his mouth, he will play tug-of-war with you. Who knows what goes through the mind of a little dog.
Last night I accidentally kicked him off the bed. I rolled over and my feet felt resistance and push through. Then I heard ker-thump as he hit the floor. Next, I heard him make his propeller noise as he went through his shake routine. “Sorry, little guy,” I said.
So far, he is a delight to have around the house. Best of all, he has yet to have any accidents. But we try to makes sure we take him out frequently.
He has started doing some barking at people. So far, it’s not a lot. I look upon this as rather a good sign. It tells me he’s comfortable enough to assert himself.
We took the Vorlon Dog to the office today. He was very popular, but it was a tough day for him. The Vorlon Wife took him to the vet. They gave us some eardrops for his ears and checked out other parts of his body. Then we found a groomer that had an opening and she took him there. He came back with his doggie smell gone and his nails clipped.
At both the Vet clinic and the groomer, they commented on how cute he looked. The Vet thought he might have some Corgi in him.
A little after 3:00 PM I just ran out of steam. I took the Vorlon Dog, put him in the back seat of the car and went home. Upon getting home, the Vorlon Dog seemed to know he was home and seemed very pleased to be home. I lay down on the sofa and was like a light. I woke up some time later and wondered where the Vorlon Dog was. Then I spotted him on the rug sound asleep.
I think he’s not been sleeping well. I can see why if his ear bugs him enough that he stays up all night itching and scratching. Then today he had the stress of going to the office, the vet and the groomer. I think the little guy was pooped out.
As for me, I’m off to bed.
I think the Vorlon Dog has figured something out. Sometimes when the Vorlon Wife and I are downstairs, the dog will become missing. A quick search finds him upstairs lying on the rug. I think when he wants to go off by himself and just rest he goes upstairs. It might also be that he likes the upstairs rugs better than the downstairs ones.
I did pretty well today, until the evening. Now I’m feeling tired and have a rather all over body ache.
Some ibuprofen and then I’m off to bed.
I had my healing service at the church this afternoon. It conformed to the passage from James 5:13-14.
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
I found it quite emotional. It only took about five minutes. But very shortly, after it started I found myself sobbing almost uncontrollably. I guess I found it cathartic. It was like one year of fighting my parasite reached a crescendo and the emotional dam broke this afternoon.
I continued to sob for a few minutes afterwards. I hope the people at the church don’t feel less of me. In retrospect, it’s a little embarrassing. But what’s done is done.
The Vorlon Dog seems much more relaxed today. He slept part of the night with us last night. He seems to have a problem with his left ear. The animal shelter said they checked his ears and everything was OK.
But I’m going to have a vet look at him.
In the middle of the night, he scratches his ear and for a little dog, he can shake he whole bed. After scratching his ear, he does a head to toe shake. That too shakes the whole bed and sounds like a propeller driven airplane winding up.
He eventually settled down.
Today he seemed much more relaxed.
He really likes going for walks. If he sees the leash in your hand, he is ready to go.
So far, he has only one bad habit. He’s a licker. When he sits beside you on the sofa, he likes to lick you hand, arm or any exposed flesh. Do you know what kind of things dogs like to lick? I really don’t want a tongue that licks that kind of stuff, licking me.
The Vorlon Wife gave the Vorlon Dog a bath. I’m not sure he appreciated it. He didn’t growl. It was more of a groan.
After his bath, he ran around the house like he’d been shot from a cannon.
I’m pretty tired tonight and I have quite a bit of body pain. I think the pain is from the pleural effusion.
Tomorrow, at 4:00 PM, I’m having my healing service.
We went to pick up the Vorlon Dog today. To my pleasant surprise, he seems much more outgoing than before.
You can see he has rather funny ears.
We brought along the crate for him, but decided not to use it. Some dogs get motion sickness in them.
He sat on the Vorlon Wife’s lap all the way home. He seemed to enjoy looking out the window.
When we got home, Halloween was in full progress and there were kids in costumes all over the neighborhood. In Vineland the have Trick or Treat from 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm. That way it’s in the light and it much safer for the children. Plus, you know when it starts and you know when it stops.
The Vorlon Wife went to walk him into the house when he balked, slipped his colar off and ran down the street. I thought to myself, “Good grief. I haven’t even had a chance to put tags on him and he’s already gone.”
But the Vorlon Wife was after him in a flash and came back with him in her arms. I’m glad she had the energy to track him down, as I certainly did not.
She said he seemed to want to play with the children.
He seems to get along well in the house. He needs very little encouragement to jump up on the sofa and curl up next to you. All he needs at the moment is a bath, stinky, and to be neutered. The animal shelter will do that free as it is part of the adoption fee.
He weighs between 11 and 12 Lbs and they estimate he is 5 to 7 years old.
You may observe there is quite a similarity between the Vorlon Dog's hair and the Vorlon Wife's hair.
This afternoon I really went downhill. I felt really badly. I had aches all over just as if I had the flu.
I came home, lay down and slept for about an hour or better. When I woke up, I felt a lot better.
Tonight I’m tired, but I don’t feel nearly as badly as I did earlier in the day.
I just returned from my bone scan and the tech said I was clean. Although I feel like crap at the moment, at least my bones are good.
Today was a tough day. I lay down about 12:30 and took a nap. I felt quite a bit better after that. I’ve got a very sensitive spot high on my rib cage and on the left hand side. I also have an ache in my left shoulder and left arm between the shoulder and the elbow.
I called the oncologist’s office and informed them. I’m now scheduled for a bone scan tomorrow morning. Although I find that a little scary, it is better to know than not to know.
I’m pretty tired tonight. I’m going to take my 600 mg of ibuprofen and then I’m off to bed.
The animal shelter called today. Is seems no one as claimed the little guy and our application has been approved.
They want to make sure he’s had all his shots and such, then we can go get him. They close at 4:00 pm on Friday, so we’ll go get him on Saturday.
I’m tired tonight. I noticed that I just passed my anniversary of sorts. My first chemo treatment was October 19, 2005.
When I was last at the oncologist’s office and I asked why my blood counts were so low, they said, “You’ve had a lot of chemo.”
I think that’s what’s hammering me. It would probably take six months to fully recover from all the chemo I’ve had. I don’t think I can go six months without chemo treatment.
I feel like I’m running out of body. I’m getting muscle spasms in weird places. I got one in the palm of my hand today. The other day I got a muscle spasm in my forearm. I figure that’s from the chemo.
As you’ve guessed, I’m off to bed.
I visited a client today and I think it tired me out a bit. I’m feeling quite tired tonight.
I know, I say that almost every night.
I’m off to bed.
I did pretty well today. Actually, it was the best I’ve felt in quite a while. I even out for a 1-mile walk. That proved to be a bigger challenge than I expected. I was hobbling right along – until I hit the half-mile mark. Then I started run out of gas.
I should have called the Vorlon Wife to come get me, but knew she was going to her workout. I figured she would pass right by me and I would flag her down and beg for a ride home.
As time went one my pace got slower and slower. I was down to my survival shuffle, with a half block to go. That’s when I saw Blue Velvet, with the Vorlon Wife inside, roll up to a stop. She just gave me my marching orders. She told me to pull my compression hose out of the washer and pull the baked potatoes out of the oven.
At last, I made it home.
Now I’m off to bed.
I thought of the name for the Vorlon Dog, if we get him - Danny Boy.
Yeah, I know he's not Irish - so what.
I received this email from the Vorlon Sister.
I must tell you that yesterday it was a surprise when my husband & I went to church. We never realized that they had decided to do a full Sunday seminar on the Holy Sprit. While it's not unusual for us to walk into church and not know what's going on. It is surprising when we discover that the evening service was to be a "healing" service invoking the power of the Holy Spirit to come and heal.
Naturally my husband and I were "up top" in the balcony doing the sound and video. I was down to the last 10 minutes (6:50 p.m.) of space on the VHS tape and two DVDs that I was recording. I knew that each would shut off automatically when they reached the end of recording time. I decided to walk down the stairs from above, walk down the center isle, to go up front, so hands could be laid on me, for "you", so you could be healed. I know it was all predestined. But I had been taken totally unaware.
So I pray that you felt this, too. That the healing has begun. That there is now a change for the better for your health. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW DAY.
Thank you, Sis.
Today was about the same as yesterday. I got to bed quite late last night. When I got back from church, I lay down and was out like a light. That helped a bit.
Now I’m ready for bed.
The Vorlon Wife and I visited two animal shelters yesterday. In one shelter, we saw no dogs we wanted. At the second shelter, we saw this little guy.
To my surprise, they put a leash on him and let us take him out. The little guy was terrified. The staff member held him and you could see the little guy just shake. I tried to pet him, and he took a little snap at me. But after a few minutes, he settled down and both the Vorlon Wife and I were able to pet him.
The Vorlon Wife took his leash and he walked along beside her like it he did it every day. He didn’t tug or pull, he just walked by her side doing his little doggie trot.
The shelter calls him a medium size dog. He is a SMALL dog, quite small.
He was brought into the shelter as a stray last Thursday. The shelter cannot do anything until next Thursday. Stays that are brought into the shelter are given one week for their owners to claim them.
We filled out the paperwork to adopt him, when he becomes available.
I felt sorry we had to leave him, as he is so frightened. I’m really sorry I didn’t take a photo of him. I had the camera in the car and completely forget to get it and take a better photo than what you see on the net.
A small request: If we get him, he’ll need a name. My brain is coming up blank for a good name. Any suggestions?
Reb has written a summary of the last days of his father. You can read it by clicking here.
Right now Reb is going through some very tough times. I ask that you pray for him.
Reb will be conducting his father’s memorial service I think what he would want most is a prayer that he have the strength to tomorrow night at 7:30.
Reb’s concern is that he has the strength to perform the service. I ask that you pray that God gives him the strength to perform the service in a dignified manner.
I spoke to our pastor last night and he has scheduled my healing service for 4:00 pm next Sunday. Some readers have requested when it was going to happen so they could pray at the same time. Although 4:00 pm is the scheduled start time, they will probably be a little late.
This conforms to James 5:13-14
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
I’m tired and achy tonight, like last night.
We went looking for dogs and I'll post on that tomorrow. I just got off the phone with the Vorlon Brother and am ready for bed.
I did OK today, but faded in the afternoon. Now I’m feeling tired and achy. I think the Neulasta is kicking my butt. I took 600 mg of ibuprofen.
I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.
My Science News has an article that combines hyperthermia with either radiation or chemotherapy.
In trials reported in the May 2005 Journal of Clinical Oncology, Dewhirst's team showed that heat treatment could amplify radiation's effects. The scientists recruited 109 cancer patients with superficial tumors, such as those in the skin of the head, neck, or breast. Half the patients received radiation alone, and the other half received radiation plus two weekly sessions of hyperthermia treatment.
After several months, the researchers found that about two-thirds of the patients in the hyperthermia group showed no lingering signs of their cancer. In contrast, only 42 percent of patients receiving just radiation had that response.
The article is a little long, but you can read the whole thing by clicking here.
I sent an email to one of the researchers that happens to be in Philly. I doubt he'll respond, but you never know. If he doesn't I'll see if my oncologist will contact him.
We found another dog; perhaps we'll drive up and visit him tomorrow. I think he looks rather forlorn in his picture.
Reb's father passed away at 2:15 this morning. Here's the link to his announcement.
You can email reb at reb@depravedbrain.com.
For the latest update on Reb's father click here.
I did about the same as yesterday. I was wondering why I didn’t feel more energetic. Then I remembered that I got a Neulasta shot on Tuesday. That’s probably still hammering me. That would explain the muscular body ache I feel.
Still no new news on the doggie front. We’re sort of at a standstill at the moment.
Now I’m feeling tired and am off to bed.
South Korean scientists have said they have developed a new genetically altered strain of virus which is highly efficient in targeting and killing cancer cells.
Click here for the full articale.
I just hope it is acurate.
You can view the latest update on Reb's father by clicking here.
I think the blood transfusion as helped. When I came up the stairs tonight, I didn’t get so out of breath as is the normal case.
That said, I feel tired. With the higher red cell count, I have better aerobic capacity, but I’m feeling a little flush in the face and really ready for bed.
I’ve started to wear my compression hose again as I’m getting more swelling in my feet, ankles and calves.
I’m off to bed.
As of this moment, we have no pending dog. We stopped by the local animal shelter to see what they had. They had no poodle, but they did have what looked like a beagle mix. She looked really sad. I checked and there were two people already in line for her.
I guess we’ll just keep looking.
From Strategypage comes this.
Old Russian (Soviet era) nuclear warheads aren't getting onto the black market because you may be able to steal them, but getting them to work is much more difficult. Russian nukes are more high maintenance than most and after as little as six months without tinkering and replacement of worn parts, the bombs no longer work. There's also a problem with the PAL (Permissive Action Links) codes. Without the PAL, you can't get the nuke to detonate. But more critical are the electronics and batteries, most of which are custom made, and the tritium booster material, which is always rapidly losing its unique ability to "boost" the initial reaction that makes the radioactive material explode.
Of course, if you could assemble a team of nuclear weapons engineers, you might be able to revive a "dead" nuke. It's this prospect that made counter-terrorism officials nervous when al Qaeda recently made a public appeal for scientists and engineers to join its ranks. It's known that some Pakistani nuclear weapons experts have a favorable opinion of Islamic radicalism, but these fellows are closely watched. Bottom line; it's not impossible for Islamic terrorists to get their hands on a Russian nuke, that is in working order. But it is very difficult.
I’m sitting in the hospital getting my blood transfusion. They are giving me red blood cells. After they told me all the potential problems that could happened from this, I hope I’m doing the right thing. The nurse said that my platelet count, even at 40m was too high for a transfusion of platelets.
The hospital has a wireless network that I can tap into. Very Cool! Although I can surf the net, I cannot do a remote login to my office computer.
Click here for an update on Reb's fathers.
The Vorlon Wife spoke to the lady that was keeping the dog tonight. During the conversation, the lady said she would need some money up front.
Red flags immediately went up. She is supposedly sending an email with more information. Now I wonder if the dog even exists.
Here’s another dog we’re looking at.
I went in for my CBC blood test today. It’s good I went in today instead of tomorrow.
My white cell count, my red cell count, my hemoglobin and my platelet count have all continued to drop since last Friday. They seemed to run around in circles for a bit and then pronounced their results to me.
They told me they were going to delay my next chemo treatment by two weeks. They also told me they were going to give me Neupogen today and the next three days. They were going to send me to the hospital for a blood transfusion tomorrow.
I said, “If I’m not getting a treatment for two weeks, instead of the Neupogen for a few days, why don’t we do a single Neulasta shot? That’s supposed to be good for two weeks.”
They said, “That’s what the doctor ordered and he’s at the hospital and can’t be reached.” I looked at them and said, “He’s got a cell phone, I’ve got a cell phone. How hard is it to ask?”
I got a rather blank stare and then they left me. A few minutes later, they told me they were giving me a Neulasta shot.
I asked how come my blood counts were so low. They said I’ve received a lot of chemo and it just beats you up. I said to one of the nurses, “It’s really a crap shoot trying to figure out the best course of action, isn’t it?” She replied, “Yes it is.”
I thought, “At last! I’ve gotten them to admit they’re just guessing on much of this.
I had to go to the hospital to have them draw blood and blood type and see what antibodies are floating around in it.
Tomorrow I’ll show up at 8:30 for two units. I should feel a lot better afterward.
I got the results of my CT scan today. You can read the report by clicking here. The best I can make of it is that I’m unchanged. I find that a little frustrating. To have gone through all that I have and see no real progress is a little discouraging.
But give me a couple of days and I’ll be back in the fighting state of mind.
To view the recent update on Reb's father, click here.
I received a response from the people with Perry, the dog.
I just printed out your application you submitted to Society Waggers, I will give ya'll a call tomorrow or after ya'll get home from work. Perry is a great little dog. Adoption $385 which includes his neuter, rabies shot, 7/1 shot, heartworm test which was negative and bordetella which is for kennel cough prevention and also Perry will have a bath when adopted too, he is clean now but always give them a bath before they go to their forever home. Perry is ready to go, he needs nothing done except to get him started on heartworm prevention each month, by the way I think Perry would love to be able to get to go to work with Carol. He is a very personable dog and would love nothing more but to be by your side.
Both the Vorlon Wife and I thought that was a little pricey. On the plus side, he seems ready to go. He almost has batteries included. Although I would crate him for a few nights, just to be sure the new environment doesn't lead to an accident.
Over the weekend we bought this at the recently open Target store. It's pretty cool. It comes in a package about three inches thick and a foot in diameter. When you take it out it expands into a kennel about two feet long, 18 inches wide and 18 inches tall.
Today was one of the best days I’ve had in some time. I went out to Wawa for coffee this afternoon and found out they are giving away free 12 Oz coffees between 2:00 pm and 4:00 pm this week and next.
Cool!
I had my CT scan and it was uneventful. I asked the tech what she thought and see demurred to the official reader. I asked to see him, but the word cam back that he was too busy. I would like to know how he does his measurement. I have wondered of late, that if I tape a small metal ring of known dimension to my body and see how close he would come to the exact diameter. Perhaps I’ll send him a fax and see if he responds. I love driving medical people crazy.
I’ll call tomorrow and see if he’s had a chance to examine the scan. Although I feel a little trepidation, what is, is. I’ll just have to go from there.
One possibility would be, the parasite could be the same size, but be almost all scar tissue instead of living tissue. That’s a rather far-fetched idea, but a possibility. Only a PET scan could confirm or deny that possibility. They are VERY expensive and I would only go with this possibility if I thought there was a good chance of this giving me new information.
I saw the thing of TV about the radioactive glucose they use for PET scans. There is a special air force of Lear jets to move the radioactive glucose from where is it made to all the parts where it is used. Radioactive glucose can only be made in certain rather high tech facilities and it has a very short useful life. That means they have to get it to the radiology labs as quickly as possible.
On the dog front, I have no new news. We have yet to get a response to our query.
For now, I’m off to bed.
Reb just posted his latest update on his father. You can view it by clicking here.
I just thought I’d let you know that I don’t ALWAYS feel tired. I’m having a very good day today. I feel alert and energetic – until I walk. That’s still a hobble, but I don’t have the bone-numbing exhaustion. Tomorrow it may all catch up with me. But for now I’m enjoying the feeling of well being.
Still no new doggy news.
I did just a LITTLE better than yesterday.
The Vorlon Wife and I visited the new Target store they just erected in our area. We got bowls, a lease and other supplies for the pending dog. We did not get any food for him. I’ll ask them what he likes. We got a couple of toys, but it’ll be an experiment to discover what he likes.
The trip really tired me out. Now I’m just ready for bed.
Reb just posted an update on his father. You can view it by clicking here.
To view the latest update on Reb's father, click here.
Here's a web site about getting your flu shot and what you can do to to avoid the flu.
I did OK today. I had a wonderful nap this morning.
Late this afternoon, after the Vorlon Wife returned home we went for a two-block walk. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
Now I feel ready for bed.
I took this photo today. Our dogwoods are turning color as you can see. The berries or seedpods have turned a bright red. Surprisingly the squirrels have yet to eat them all up.
I’m not super pleased with this photo, but it’s the best I can do for now.
The Vorlon Wife is at a seminar about the Rambo family. She traces her roots back through McConnell through Lincoln through Rambo. It turns out the Rambo line is Swedish. I documented a previous trip about the Rambo’s starting here.
We got a response on adopting Perry. They gave us an email to contact, which I did. I got an immediate bounce back from their auto-responder. It told me they would not be able to respond until October 16.
For an update on Reb's father, click here.
I’m still recovering from my chemo of last week. When I got home, there was a voice mail on my schedule with the oncology office for next week. I have GOT to train these people to use my cell phone in place of my home phone. By time I got home, they were already closed.
I’m just ready for bed. At least tomorrow, I’ll get to sleep in as late as I want. That’s always a luxury I look forward to on Saturday mornings.
No response from the animal shelter people on the dog called Perry. A friend, who is the same business as I, sends this comment.
Hope you are well. I saw on your blog where you are looking at getting a dog. My wife talked me into it 20 years ago, and I couldn't imagine living without one now. She attached picture. Dogs are God's gift to man.
To view the latest update on Reb's father, click here.
To view Reb's latest update on his father, click here.
I did not get a treatment today. My platelet count was too low. The minimum is 100 and I was down to about 65. They pushed my next treatment back to next Friday. At least I’ll get another week to recover. I feel like I can really use it.
I’m still hurting. I had my last Neupogen shot this morning. Tomorrow, if my white cell count is good, I’ll get a treatment and then a Neulasta shot Saturday morning.
Then I get two weeks out of jail.
Next Monday I’m going for my CT scan and we’ll see if I’m making measurable progress.
I spoke to our pastor last night about a healing service along the lines of James 5:13-14.
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
I only recently became aware of this passage and thought, why not give it a try? I sort of feel like I’ve been nickel and diming myself with chemotherapy. It’s time to bring out the heavy artillery. You don’t get much heavier than asking for God’s help.
The pastor said that he’s only done a couple in his career, but if I wanted him to do it, he’d be honored. I will ask him Sunday and see how quickly I can take this step.
I also feel that I should not just ask for a small improvement, but ask for a complete cure. If God can create the whole universe, in which we live why timidly ask for small improvements? He can just as easily do the whole enchilada. It doesn’t mean He will, but it is certainly within His power.
On the dog front, the Vorlon Wife found this little guy. At 11 Lbs, he’s not much bigger than a big cat.
Right after lunch, I quickly went downhill. I started to hurt all over. I took 400 mg of ibuprofen and went to a client site. The ibuprofen didn’t touch the all over body ache. After leaving the client site, I came directly home and rested.
Now I’m ready for bed.
Here are the most recent updates on Reb's father.
He and his father are going through some very tough times.
I spent the day in the office today. I succumbed to my chaise lounge and my blankey for a while this morning. The Vorlon Wife drove me to two clients, so I got a bit of billable time in. But there was a cost and I returned home really tired.
On the dog front, it seems the two pooches we were considering have been spoken for. I guess I’m a little disappointed, but if God thinks I should get a dog, I think it’ll come about.
I have no additional word on Reb’s father.
I’m hoping for a better day soon as I get another poisoning on Friday.
Now I’m off to bed.
I stayed home again today. I was just too tired to go out. I did have the Vorlon Wife drive me to a local client. When I got home, I laid down and took a nap.
This is normal. I just need to tough it out.
The swelling in my legs seems reduced and I am not wearing my compression hose for now.
The local SPCA has two poodles we are considering adopting. I asked the Vorlon Wife which one she though we should get. She said both so they could keep each other company.
The rather surprised me. I don’t know if I’m ready to take on TWO dogs. On of my concerns is, it’ll be more work for the Vorlon Wife. I’m not sure I will always be able to him outside. I am reluctant to add to her burden.
We told my oncologist that we thinking of getting a dog. He seemed to think it was a good idea.
I’m off to bed.
Click here to read an update on Reb's Father.
I am really hurting tonight. All of a sudden, I started to hurt all over. I’m going to take some ibuprofen and head off to bed.
I heard on one of my internet downloads a simple prayer we can pray any time.
"Lord Jesus, please have mercy on me a miserable sinner."
You don’t have to stop there, but it’s a great place to start. I try to start all my prayers with this statement.
Reb has posted an entry about his father. You can view it by clicking here.
Please keep Reb and his father in our prayers.
I just returned from the oncologist’s office. He did his cursory physical exam. We did our routine in which he asks how I’m doing and I tell him, “If it wasn’t for the chemo, I’d feel great.” He’s starting to let down his end of the banter in which he responds, “Maybe not.”
I have an appointment for a CT scan on Monday the 16th.
I asked him if I am exceeding expectations, meeting expectations or falling below expectations. He said I was exceeding expectations. Although that’s encouraging, I’m reminded of the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland where she says, "HERE, you see, it takes all the running YOU can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
I’m coming up on my anniversary of sorts. My first chemo treatment was October 19, 2005. I’d say I’m a LITTLE better than when I started. I just don’t know how much harder I can run.
My first scan put the parasite at 42 mm; the last scan put it at 35 mm. But at one point, it was down to 26 mm.
My oncologist is flying back to India to visit his parents. They are getting up in years and he wants to make sure everything is OK. In fact, his parents are about the same age as the Vorlon Parents. Although he tells me that in India, you add 10 years to the age, as care is not as good.
I’m pretty tired from the chemo, but when I try to monitor how I feel in my left chest area, it feels better than it did LAST October.
I’m still drinking Boost Plus to keep my caloric uptake good. I’m not moving very much. I’m hoping for more strength as the week wears on. I will be getting a Neupogen shot Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, I get sort of a half treatment and then a Neulasta shot on Saturday.
Monday I will have a cursory inspection with my oncologist. At that time, I’ll be sure to get a prescription for a CT scan.
I took a long nap this afternoon and that seemed good. But I just don’t move very well. The bottoms of my feet are pretty numb, although I think the swelling in my feet, ankles and calves seems reduced. When I press on the swelling in feet and ankles, it leaves small dents. I don’t get that in my calves.
Word on Reb’s Father From Reb
A good friend from lodge is also an ordained minister. My father has said he would like him to do the final service and for me to do the Masonic memorial service. I’d have to get special permission to do so and I'd have a very difficult time doing it, but I'll try if allowed.
He's home now and seems to be OK. We have him on oxygen and he is alert and comfortable. I had a long talk with him today in private and the nurses have already talked to him. He became close with one nurse and it was a tearful goodbye from the hospital.
I’m off to bed.
I did OK to day. I’m just tired and my taste buds have gone south. I am living on Boost Plus for now. Even plain water is ugly.
Mostly I try not to move very much. Sitting on the sofa, I feel pretty good. Walking is not very pleasant.
My stomach is a little uneasy from time to time. But I just take my ginger pills and it never gets any worse. By tomorrow, my stomach should be settling down. My taste buds, however, will be a bit before I can eat well.
I have no new word on Reb’s father. I suspect he spent the day at the hospital with his father. He needs WiFi for his laptop.
I’m off to bed, as I feel quite tired.
I was reading an article from Guideposts and they had a story of a woman that was suffering from a rare liver disease and it was not looking good. At her request, her church pastor arraigned for a healing prayer service as described in James 5:13-16. She said the people in the service prepared themselves through prayer and fasting which the Bible describes, but I don’t know the passage.
Here’s James 5:13-16
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
The result was, she was cured.
We went to the local SPCA today to look at the dogs. The two poodles were strays and they don’t know much about them – like if they’re even house trained.
We did not get one.
I was browsing the web and found this site on dog training. I think it looks pretty good.
Here's a snippet from the site.
The 10 Commandments – From a Pet’s Standpoint
I had my chemo poisoning today. It went smoothly as it usually does. It’s just a matter of sitting in a chair for five hours.
I found out one of the nurses was leaving and today was her last day. As I was leaving, I wished her well in her new job. It turns out she is going to another oncology clinic that is much closer to her home, so her move is understandable. It will probably reduce her commute each way from 40 minutes to under five.
She wished me luck too. I told her I did think luck would have anything to do with it. I told her I was DETERMINED. She responded, “I KNOW that!”
Of course it is easy to say that when your feeling pretty well. Later, this week or next I will feel a little less determined.
It’s past my time for bed.
I just got an update from Reb Orrell. His father is not doing well at all. You may know Reb as a frequent commenter on this blog. Doctors give his father just a few weeks.
Today was not quite as good as yesterday. I was a little tired today. I even succumbed to my chaise lounge and my blankey at the office. That seemed to help.
Tomorrow I go for my poisoning. The actual poisoning is pretty uneventful. It’ll be the weekend and into next week that will be the suffering.
I’m off to bed.
I feel like I’m recovering. As always, I’m best in the morning and then fade as the day wears on. Although I don’t LOOK particularly good, I feel quite good. The numbness in my feet and the soreness in my calves make me hobble when I walk.
I’ve put on a little bit more weight. I tipped the scale at 155 Lbs this morning. I attribute it partly to my Tastykake diet.
I was at a client site today and mentioned the numbness in my fingertips and feet. The person I mentioned it to indicated they too suffered from it, but they are not on chemo. I asked if they had been checked for diabetes. They said no. I suggested they get themselves checked, as the numbness is common for people with diabetes.
I’m making a extra effort to not only eat more but drink more. It’s not easy.
Although I feel quite good physically tonight, I’m really looking forward to a long night’s rest.
Every once in a while I think about getting a dog. I have been browsing the local SPCA web site to see what they have. I just don’t know if want to put up with all the responsibility that would entail. I suspect I could bring it into the office, as long as it was well behaved.
I’m a stickler about dog behavior. The American Kennel Club has something they call Canine Good Citizen Program. If I got a dog I’d want him/her to do this. Here’s what the Good Citizen test covers.
Test 1: Accepting a friendly stranger
This test demonstrates that the dog will allow a friendly stranger to approach it and speak to the handler in a natural, everyday situation. The evaluator walks up to the dog and handler and greets the handler in a friendly manner, ignoring the dog. The evaluator and handler shake hands and exchange pleasantries. The dog must show no sign of resentment or shyness, and must not break position or try to go to the evaluator.
Test 2: Sitting politely for petting
This test demonstrates that the dog will allow a friendly stranger to touch it while it is out with its handler. With the dog sitting at the handler's side, to begin the exercise, the evaluator pets the dog on the head and body. The handler may talk to his or her dog throughout the exercise. The dog may stand in place as it is petted. The dog must not show shyness or resentment.
Test 3: Appearance and grooming
This practical test demonstrates that the dog will welcome being groomed and examined and will permit someone, such as a veterinarian, groomer or friend of the owner, to do so. It also demonstrates the owner's care, concern and sense of responsibility. The evaluator inspects the dog to determine if it is clean and groomed. The dog must appear to be in healthy condition (i.e., proper weight, clean, healthy and alert). The handler should supply the comb or brush commonly used on the dog. The evaluator then softly combs or brushes the dog, and in a natural manner, lightly examines the ears and gently picks up each front foot. It is not necessary for the dog to hold a specific position during the examination, and the handler may talk to the dog, praise it and give encouragement throughout.
Test 4: Out for a walk (walking on a loose lead)
This test demonstrates that the handler is in control of the dog. The dog may be on either side of the handler. The dog's position should leave no doubt that the dog is attentive to the handler and is responding to the handler's movements and changes of direction. The dog need not be perfectly aligned with the handler and need not sit when the handler stops. The evaluator may use a pre-plotted course or may direct the handler/dog team by issuing instructions or commands. In either case, there should be a right turn, left turn, and an about turn with at least one stop in between and another at the end. The handler may talk to the dog along the way, praise the dog, or give commands in a normal tone of voice. The handler may sit the dog at the halts if desired.
Test 5: Walking through a crowd
This test demonstrates that the dog can move about politely in pedestrian traffic and is under control in public places. The dog and handler walk around and pass close to several people (at least three). The dog may show some interest in the strangers but should continue to walk with the handler, without evidence of over-exuberance, shyness or resentment. The handler may talk to the dog and encourage or praise the dog throughout the test. The dog should not jump on people in the crowd or strain on the leash.
Test 6: Sit and down on command and Staying in place
This test demonstrates that the dog has training, will respond to the handler's commands to sit and down and will remain in the place commanded by the handler (sit or down position, whichever the handler prefers). The dog must do sit AND down on command, then the owner chooses the position for leaving the dog in the stay. Prior to this test, the dog's leash is replaced with a line 20 feet long. The handler may take a reasonable amount of time and use more than one command to get the dog to sit and then down. The evaluator must determine if the dog has responded to the handler's commands. The handler may not force the dog into position but may touch the dog to offer gentle guidance. When instructed by the evaluator, the handler tells the dog to stay and walks forward the length of the line, turns and returns to the dog at a natural pace. The dog must remain in the place in which it was left (it may change position) until the evaluator instructs the handler to release the dog. The dog may be released from the front or the side.
Test 7: Coming when called
This test demonstrates that the dog will come when called by the handler. The handler will walk 10 feet from the dog, turn to face the dog, and call the dog. The handler may use encouragement to get the dog to come. Handlers may choose to tell dogs to "stay" or "wait" or they may simply walk away, giving no instructions to the dog.
Test 8: Reaction to another dog
This test demonstrates that the dog can behave politely around other dogs. Two handlers and their dogs approach each other from a distance of about 20 feet, stop, shake hands and exchange pleasantries, and continue on for about 10 feet. The dogs should show no more than casual interest in each other. Neither dog should go to the other dog or its handler.
Test 9: Reaction to distraction
This test demonstrates that the dog is confident at all times when faced with common distracting situations. The evaluator will select and present two distractions. Examples of distractions include dropping a chair, rolling a crate dolly past the dog, having a jogger run in front of the dog, or dropping a crutch or cane. The dog may express natural interest and curiosity and/or may appear slightly startled but should not panic, try to run away, show aggressiveness, or bark. The handler may talk to the dog and encourage or praise it throughout the exercise.
Test 10: Supervised separation
This test demonstrates that a dog can be left with a trusted person, if necessary, and will maintain training and good manners. Evaluators are encouraged to say something like, "Would you like me to watch your dog?" and then take hold of the dog's leash. The owner will go out of sight for three minutes. The dog does not have to stay in position but should not continually bark, whine, or pace unnecessarily, or show anything stronger than mild agitation or nervousness. Evaluators may talk to the dog but should not engage in excessive talking, petting, or management attempts (e.g, "there, there, it's alright").
Today was about the same as yesterday. I’m not feeling too badly. I just feel like I need a nap.
I’ve picked up a couple of Lbs. I’m up to 154 Lbs. I think the Tastykakes are helping. I’ve got two more days to get as many calories into my body as possible before I get poisoned.
Every time I meet with my oncologist, I can’t remember what to report. So I sent him a fax. Well, I’ve scheduled it to go out tomorrow morning. I don’t want it just sitting on his fax machine. I want it to be received while someone is in the office. I figure it’ll get more attention that way.
Doctors don’t seem to do email, but they all have fax machines. Since I have a modem in my computer, I can fax as easily as I can email. I figure, if the get a fax from you they are probably required by law to read it and put it in your file.
Here’s what I sent to him.
I had the Doppler exam at CDI. The tech said everything looked good. I also went to Dr. Pilet. He said it is something called Lattice Degeneration. I asked if it was due to the chemo. He said he thought not as he has customers with the same condition and they are perfectly healthy. The condition seems to afflict about 10 percent of the US population.
I remain unconvinced, even though he said he could see it in my right eye. I notice the effect in my eye about the same time in my chemo cycle. But you know just how stubborn I can be, and I’m not even from Missouri – the Show Me state. My parents tell me it’s from my German and Scottish ancestry.
He said if I have the condition 24x7 to contact him immediately and he’s refer me to someone that would do some laser surgery. A doctor friend has recommended I get an opinion from Wills Eye Hospital.
I happen to notice an ad for Neulasta on TV and they mentioned something about shoulder pain not being good. I went to their web site and here’s what they say, “Report symptoms of abdominal or shoulder tip pain to your doctor immediately.”
Now shoulders always look rounded to me not pointed. I have no clue as to what they mean by shoulder tip pain. So I’ll just report that I experience a dull ache in my left shoulder from time to time.
I’m still experiencing some swelling in my feet, ankles and calves. I’ve been wearing compression hose and, although they are a struggle to put on and take off, I think they help with the swelling. However, I think they’re giving me a puffy face. After all, water is incompressible, squeeze it one place and to goes somewhere else – that’s meant to be a joke.
I’m pleased to hear my serum creatinine is back within standard operating limits. I guess I should work harder on drinking more liquids. Part of the problem is that immediately after poisoning, even plain water is very distasteful.
The only thing else to report is the muscles in the back of my neck where they attach to the base of the skull are sore. This happens every time I get treated.
If I have more to report, I’ll email you. I’ll see you next week.
Today was a bit of a mixed bag. Physically I felt a little better. But I spent all day really wanting to take a nap. Alas, there was too much to do to do that, so I’m heading off to bed early tonight.
I THINK the compression hose are helping. The pain in my calves seems somewhat reduced. Now, whether that is from the socks or would occur naturally I have no clue.
About a week ago, I had to collect urine for 24 hours and drop it off at the lab. During my last chemo treatment the blood sample showed my serum creatinine was at 1.5, where 1.4 is the upper limit. So my oncologist wanted a more thorough look. They also took a blood sample. I had not heard anything from the oncologist’s office so I called them today. At first, they said they didn’t have the results yet.
I responded, “No yet?! I gave the sample off on Monday last week.” She promised to look into it and call me back.
Later she actually DID call me back. She said everything looked fine. My serum creatinine was down to 1.2. I asked her why that was. She said she didn’t know. Perhaps I was doing a better job of drinking enough fluids to keep my kidneys flushed. I guess I’m going to have to work to stay well flushed.
I guess they ONLY call you if there is bad news. My attitude is if it’s important enough to do a special test, I want to know the results.
I had another experience with my Lattice Degeneration today. It lasted about five minutes. My eye doctor said it should not be from the chemo as he has normal healthy people that experience it. However, I got the symptoms about the same point in my treatment cycle last time. So I remain unconvinced.
I’m really tired. I’m off to bed.
I THINK I’m a little better. I was able to both stand and sing at the same time in church this morning. I just wish I had more energy. Going up the stairs is a bit of a struggle.
I’m getting poisoned again the Friday from about 9:30 am to 2:30 pm. I wish I had another week to recover from the last poisoning.
I’ve always said that when the going gets tough, the tough needs to get going. I guess this is one of those times.
I’m going to contact the clinic and see what the results of my recent urine and blood tests are. They went to the lab on Monday so they should have the results by now. They wanted additional tests as my serum creatinine was 1.5 and the high limit is 1.4.
I’m feeling tired tonight so I’m off to bed.
Here's an article from my Science News on the Shingles Vaccine. It's sort of a good news bad news to we don't know post.
The cost-effectiveness of a new vaccine against shingles remains uncertain, according to a new study. So, health policy makers don't have enough information to recommend for or against routine use of the shot, say the researchers.
Shingles, also called herpes zoster, develops when a person previously infected with chickenpox experiences a reactivation of the dormant virus. Nationwide, shingles annually affects 300,000 to 600,000 people. People usually recover within a month, but some later experience flare-ups of severe pain.
Zostavax, a vaccine made by Merck & Co. of Whitehouse Station, N.J., and given to people who haven't had shingles, lessens the incidence and severity of symptoms in people age 60 and older. The government approved the vaccine's sale in May, and its list price is about $150.
Recently, physician John Hornberger and analyst Katherine Robertus, both of the research firm Acumen in Burlingame, Calif., used Merck's data on the vaccine's efficacy to calculate cost-effectiveness, which could influence how willing insurers are to pay for the shot.
In the Sept. 5 Annals of Internal Medicine, the researchers conclude that the vaccine is more cost-effective in people in their early 60s than in people 80 and older. That's because the younger group's immune response to vaccination is stronger, and longer life expectancy multiplies any benefit, the researchers say.
However, the overall cost-effectiveness is difficult to gauge, Hornberger says. First, researchers have few data to use in attempting to pin a dollar value on people's suffering from shingles. Second, Merck's study ran for just 3 years, so it's unclear how long the vaccine's protection lasts.
Says Hornberger, "If it only lasts 5 years, and then you have to revaccinate, then it certainly isn't cost-effective in any population."